Dear Fanfiction
by luckie912
Summary: The demigods have commented on your stories...
1. Percy Jackson

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do people keep pairing me with people like Rachel, Thalia, Artemis, or Nico? Rachel's the freaking oracle, Thalia's a hunter, Artemis is a goddess, and a maiden one, and I'm straight. Any pairing that doesn't put me with Annabeth sucks.

A unbelieving Percy Jackson


	2. Annabeth Chase

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do people potraying me as a stupid idiot? _i sea pecy and jmp up and dwn im so hppy!_! What the hell? I do NOT have grammer that bad, and seriously you're insulting children of Athena.

An offended Annabeth Chase


	3. Thalia Grace

**Thanks everyone for reviewing and the support!**

Dear Fanfiction,

Me and Nico? Just no. I'm a freaking hunter for heavens sake! We're cousins! Plus he's like 5 years younger than me. Ewww.

A disgruntled Thalia (Don't you dare use my mother's name!)


	4. Nico di Angelo

**Thanks everyone for reviewing and the support!**

Dear Fanfiction,

Me and Thalia? She's right, she is a hunter and we're cousins. Plus I was born in the 1930s, and I'm younger than her...okay that made no sense but still NO! And stop making random people to be my girlfriend, I don't need one, and I don't want one. I'm 13!

PS. Me and Percy? I just threw up.

A disgusted Nico Di Angelo


	5. Jason Grace

Dear Fanfiction,

I have a brilliant personality. I just forgot it.

Jason Grace


	6. Piper Mclean

Dear Fanfiction,

I care about more things than my boyfriend. I was just worried about anything that might affect our relationship. He's just handsome, charming, wonderful...perfect. What was I talking about again?

A daydreaming Piper McLean


	7. Frank Zhang

Dear Fanfiction,

Stop making Hazel and Leo be together! Hazel's mine (growls). Just because they're friends and have...history, doesn't mean they should be dating. Hazel's mine!

An annoyed Frank Zhang


	8. Hazel Levesque

Dear Fanfiction,

Stop making Hazel and Leo be together! Hazel's mine (growls). Just because they're friends and have...history, doesn't mean they should be dating. Hazel's mine!

An annoyed Frank Zhang


	9. Leo Valdez

Dear Fanfiction,

Me and Reyna? If you remember, I kind of attacked Camp Jupiter- well it was the eidolons actually but Reyna doesn't know that. Reyna hates my guts. We will NEVER be a couple. Plus, if I made a joke, she'd probably kill me. That girl frightens me.

Leo Valdez.


	10. Rachel Dare

Dear Fanfiction,

Stop making me a jealous bitch and die! I'm a person too! So now it's a crime to be friends with Percy? And I'm the oracle, so I won't be dating anyone.

A very mad Rachel Dare


	11. Clarisse La Rue

Dear Fanfiction,

Me and Percy?! Are you freaking kidding right now? I'm going to send that punk down the toilet for good this time. And me and Chris? I'm not romatic!

A murderious Clarisse La Rue


	12. Drew Tanaka

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm a very nice person. *charmspeaks* Stop writing stories about me being such a snob, make me perfect like I really am.

A honest Drew Tamaka


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Drew,

No you're not! The people of fanfiction see how you really are!

Piper McLean


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Piper,

Please hon. You look dumpster enough already.

Dont embarrass yourself more.

Drew


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Piper and Drew,

Talk to fan fiction!

Jason Grace


	16. Chiron

Dear Campers,

What are you doing on this website?

Chiron


	17. Mr D

Dear Campers,

What are you idiots doing here? Why haven't you been eaten by monsters yet? Well they'll come soon, and I'll never again have to train you brats!

Mr.D


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do all the stories say I broke up with Annabeth or cheated on her? I'm offended!

A heartbroken Percy Jackson


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do all the stories involve me and Percy making out for an hour? Seriously?

A taken back Annabeth Chase


	20. Zeus

**To celebrate, I'm giving you two chapters today!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

How do all you mortals know about me? I'm the high and mighty Zeus!(Shut up Poseidion.)

Zeus


	21. Poseidon

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades! **

**Do you guys think I'm a girl or a guy and how old do you think I am? Put your answers in the reviews!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Me? And Athena? Wait a second while I drown myself...oh wait can't do that. Dammit. And people wonder why Hurricane Sandy happened.

Poseidon


	22. Hades

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades! **

**I'm flattered by how old you guys think I am! Maybe later I'll tell you.**

* * *

Darn it! Obama won! Now I have to pay five bajillion dollars in taxes and stuff...oh wait he doesn't know I exist. Never mind.

Pluto


	23. Chapter 23

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades! **

**I'm flattered by how old you guys think I am! Maybe later I'll tell you.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm not emo! Repeat the words with me. I. Am. Not. Emo.

Nico Di Angelo


	24. Athena

Dear Fanfiction,

Me and Poseidion? He's just a very handsome god of the sea...er...You're all getting F's on your upcoming tests!

Athena


	25. Katie Gardner

Dear Fanfiction,

Why are there a bunch of stories about Travis and I? He's an idiot...an cute one...I mean...uhh...we're not going out!

Katie Gardner


	26. Travis Stoll

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Katie _loves_ me. Katie loves me _this much! _She knows she does!_  
_

Travis Stoll

* * *

**MAXIMUM RIDE REFERENCE for all you MR junkies out there. :)**


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm not cruel! I'm fair! So what if I hold grudges?

Hades


	28. Apollo

Dear Fanfiction,

Umm me and Thalia? She's a cool girl and all but I don't like her that way. I'll write a haiku to express myself.

I like Thalia

But she's Artemis's hunter

No more stories please

Apollo


	29. Artemis

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades!**

**Well I asked for reviews and I got them :) Thanks!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I will never date anyone so get used to it and stop making me have boyfriends! And neither will my hunters! Apollo, please stop with the haikus.

They are terrible

Stop now or I will kill you

Pandas. Unicorns.

Artemis.


	30. Hermes

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades!**

**200 reviews! You guys rock! Keep up the good work!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Why I am in no stories? Make some now or I shall shut down this website.

Hermes


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Fanfiction,

I am not goth either! Jeez! Where the Hades are you guys getting those ideas from?

_~Somewhere deep under~_

**EVEN MY OWN SON SWEARS ON ME!**

Sorry Father, sorry.

**Hmmph.**

Nico Di Angelo


	32. Chapter 32

**DISCLAIMER: If the Percy Jackson series was mine, then I would be working on the House of Hades!**

**P.S. Ideas would be greatly ****appreciated...just in case I run out of them.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I see a lot of stories where we are all playing "Truth or Dare." What  
the hell is that? And why does everyone assume we play it? We don't.  
I've never even heard of it.

Hazel Levesque


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Fanfiction,

Me, Nico and Percy SING and start a band? Have you heard _ANY_ of us sing? No? No? That's what I thought. We all are absolutely sucky at singing! We went caroling earlier this week...

*rings doorbell*

"Hello?"

Thalia, Nico, and Percy: "DECK THE HALLS WITH BALLS OF F*CKERY!"

*door slams in their face*

"Well they must of accidentally closed the door! Let's try the next house!"

"TIS THE SEASON TO BE F*CKED UP!"

*door slams in their face again*

"Hello? Did you like us? Yes? Yes? No? Okay then...maybe someone else?"

*Everybody's light's suddenly turn off*

"You know, we can just sing at camp..."

"_NO!"_

Thalia Grace


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Fanfiction,

You know, I've seen a bunch of stories that are like _what if Annabeth, Grover, me, the rest of the campers, and a bunch of dead people came to Goode? Wanna find out how awesome it'd be?_ Well see people, you know how'd awesome it be? Because it'd be continued as all the monsters came to Goode and the school blew up and everyone died the end. And unless you have a sick, twisted, mind, that is not awesome!

Percy Jackson


	35. Aphrodite

Dear Fanfiction,

OMG, like I was reading this fan fiction, right? And then RIGHT THERE, Percy and Thalia started making out! I mean it was like tots gross! While poking around in the beauty salon, I've also stumbled across Percy/Artemis and Percy/Nico, and I mean some people on this site are cray cray. I mean some of the couples weren't bad but PERCABETH is totally the bomb, you know? Like nothing could break up PERCABETH and they're so cute! Percy even fell intartarus for her! That's so romantic! And Percy went on a whole quest to save his love from tragedy. Nothing could break them apart!

Guess who?

Hades

JK I mean that'd be tot weird! Aphrodite of course!


	36. Chapter 36

**(For everyone whose wondering, they dictate their rants, not type them, so being dyslexic doesn't really matter.)**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

You guys in the summaries want to know what happens if we read the books. You seem to think this is the answer.

_Percy and Annabeth were strolling along in the woods when Percy went "OMG ANNIE THESE BOOKS POPPED OUTTA THE GROUND LETS GO READ THEM AND SUDDENLY EVERYONE EVER MENTIONED IN THE BOOKS POPPED OUTTA NOWHERE AND STARTED READING THE BOOKS AND ALL WENT OMG, PERCE'S LIFE WAS SO HARD!_

Umm hello people? We're kinda DYSLEXIC (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT)

And if I know it's bad grammar, it's bad grammar.

Percy Jackson


	37. Dionysus

**This chapter isn't really up to my usual standards so sorry about that. Though can't anybody else imagine Mr. D going like that?**

Dear Fanfiction,

Why do people seem to think that I'm very mean, mad, unfriendly etc. etc.? I'm quite nice actually, thank you very much. Take Chris for an example. I was very nice to him. TELL PEOPLE I'M NICE *whips out chainsaw and eyes turn red* *girl screams in the background* OR ELSE!

The Very Friendly Mr. D


	38. Octavian

Dear Fanfiction,

The Greeks are traitors. And the teddy bears speak for the gods themselves. Though I must say I enjoy killing them...beheading them...one at a time. That stupid panda was mocking me! He was smiling when the Greek came! How dare he?

Octavian


	39. Chapter 39

_When the gods were like do you wanna be a god, I was like yeah totally. And Annabeth was crying but thats ok because Athena was so sexy and we now loved each other!_

One word. BARF. Do I really need to comment on this? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HOW ATHENA HATES MY GUTS?

Quite Disgusted,

Percy Jackson


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Fanfiction,

One Direction is clearly British. As of now, I am American. So no more angry phone calls BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT MY CHILDREN!

Apollo


	41. Chapter 41

**If you have ideas, you can post them in the comments. This chapter idea is from 7NationArmy, so thanks.**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

First, my evil grandpa tried to kill me and take over the world, and my former friend was possessed by my evil grandpa. (If you thought that sentence sounded weird, reread it.) Now nobody even can die and Mother Nature is trying to crush the world in half. And I have to stop all these people. So tell me. Does my life even sound remotely normal? And you think my life sounds like a rock star. *EVERYBODY FALLS OVER LAUGHING* I wish.

Percy Jackson


	42. Luke and Kronos

**If you have ideas, you can post them in the comments. **

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

Do you think I will come back to life and play Truth or Dare? HELL NO!

Luke

Dear Fanfiction.

Do you think I will come back to life and play Truth or Dare? HELL YEAH!

Kronos


	43. Annabeth's Cap

Dear Fanfiction,

When I saw Riptide, it was love at first sight. Then out of nowhere ballroom music started playing and Riptide and I started dancing. I knew from that moment I'd love Riptide forever...EVEN THOUGH RIPTIDE WOULD CUT ME IN HALF AND WE'RE BOTH INANIMATE OBJECTS.

Annabeth's Cap


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you to Stacksofstories for the idea. There are separate letters in this chapter, but all the same concept so yeah.**

* * *

****Dear Fanfiction,

I'm gonna kill all of you. You people call me _Tavy? _I'm gonna murder all your teddy bears until you wish you'd never been born._  
_

Octavian

Dear Fanfiction,

PANDA BABY? PANDA BABY?

Frank Zhang

Dear Fanfiction,

I'd rather not be referred to as Sea Prince, thank you very much.

Percy Jackson

Dear Fanfiction,

Annie? No, I do not burst out singing it's a hard knock life!

Annabeth Chase

Dear Fanfiction,

Pipes is what my dad calls me, and what my dad calls me only. Understand?

Piper McLean


	45. Chapter 45

**I'm almost at 400 reviews and would love it if all of you would review! Just a simple 'lol' would do. Thanks so much!**

Dear Fanfiction,

"_Hey Percy."_

_"Hey Grover."_

_"So there's this new girl and she likes __canoeing and her cuts heal in water. We're having a hard time deciding what her god parent is."_

_"Yeah, that must be so difficult."_

_Just then, a girl with long black hair and sea-green eyes came up near us. Then, a trident shined over her head. _

_"She's your sister!" Grover gasped.  
_

_"Yeah I know." I replied._

_Then, Annabeth came up to us._

_"Are you talking about Lily? Did you know she's dating Malcolm?"_

_"Cool, because I'm like dating you, and she's like dating Malcolm, and that's super cool!" I said._

_..._

_..._

More like:

"Hey Percy!"

"Hey Grover."

"That new girl over there likes canoeing. Maybe she's your sister?"

Just then, a trident shimmered over her head.

"NO! SHE CANNOT BE MY SISTER!" I exclaimed. "I'M SPECIAL AND I'M THE ONLY CHILD OF POSEIDON!"

Then, I pulled out my hidden sniper, and shot her repeatedly FPS Russia style..

"HA!" I said.

And that's how it all went down.

P.S. I'm not violent. Where would you get that idea from?

Percy Jackson


	46. Princess

Dear Fanfiction,

_A/N: So in this story, Percy is a girl, and his name is Princess._

_One day, when I was coming to camp, I saw this really hot smexy_ _guy. He has gorgeous long,shaggy emo hair and he had eyes as black as a butterfly. He seemed about 10, perfect for my 14-years-old. "Hey sexy," he said to me in a deep, rough voice that he would have because he's 10._

_"Hey." I responded._

_Then we started making out, and we lived happily ever after because after that moment all the monsters stopped chasing us._

**_THE END_**

_A/N: Did you like the grand ending? I worked on it lots!_

I. AM. NOT. A. MOTHER. F*CKING. GIRL!

P.S. Nico is 4 years younger than me, and he blames me for the death of Bianca. Yeah, so much potential for romance! Yay...

Percy Jackson


	47. Chapter 47

Dear Fanfiction,

_Percy Jackson is on Facebook!_

_Grover, Tyson, Annabeth, and 500 others like this._

_Percy Jackson is playing Farmville!_

_Grover, Katie, Miranda, and 200 others like this._

_Annabeth Chase is going to murder Percy Jackson!_

_Clarisse, Luke, Kronos, and 300 others like this._

_Annabeth Chase has made up with Percy Jackson and is has been making out with him._

_Silena, Aphrodite, Mr. D, Chiron, Zeus and 20000000 others like this._

More like:

_Percy Jackson is on Facebook!_

_Percy Jackson has just been devoured by a monster for using a computer._

I have more important things than Facebook you know. Besides, I only can sometimes use Annabeth's laptop, which I most definitely do not spend my time watching porn on youtube. Me? Porn? What, you kidding?

Percy Jackson


	48. Thalia

Dear Fanfiction,

_Today, Nico walked in his annoyingly hot butt-shake walk that was so sexy. He finally asked me out and I squealed of pure joy and said yes and everything. Then Artemis popped out of nowhere and also squealed. "OMG, you guys are finally together. You guys are totally right for each other!" And then, to honor Nico, Artemis made him a Hunter of Artemis and he sold Girl Scout cookies._

_**THE**_** END.**

So apparently I'm going to- and Nico is going to- one moment, think I'm going to be sick.

Thalia


	49. Chapter 49

Dear Fanfiction,

Please rate fanfictions M if they are M. I am mentally scarred forever.

Nico Di Angelo


	50. Leo flaming hot Valdez

**50th chapter! All right! Let's try to get some more reviews!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

I know. I am hot. I am amazing. Everyone loves me. And ladies. I would love to be with all of you too. However, there is only one of me, and billions of you. I know that you all want your Leo time. Unfortunately, I'm rather busy at the moment with Mother Nature trying to murder me. However, I will try to return your calls. And then, maybe we can have some Leo time together, ehh?*Raises eyebrows suggestively*_  
_

Leo flaming hot Valdez.


	51. Rick Riordan

**I just wanted you to know that I read all review, and take all ideas into consideration, so if you suggested something, it might come up in a later chapter. Thanks!**

* * *

Dear Fanfiction,

This is all dreadful. I get it, I'm pretty amazing, and everyone wants to try to be like me, and how my writing is amazing. However, please stop. 99.999999999999% of you are a disgrace to the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. And everyone else, it was _my_ idea. Not yours. Deal with it.

The Amazing, Dashing, Charming RICK RIORDAN!

P.S. Percy and Nico? EWW!


	52. Kronos

**Can we try to get 15 reviews this chapter? Thanks.**

Dear Fanfiction,

Why does everyone think my deepest fear is ponies?

Kronos

*Percy reads this*

_Kronos reads fanfiction?_

*Clicks on Krono's profile*

_Kronos writes fanfiction?_

_*Opens Kronos fanfictions.*_

_Kronos has written 50 fanfictions?_

_*Clicks on one randomly*_

**_Love At First Sight Percy/Kronos Rated:M_**

_What the heck is this?_

_*Opens fanfiction*_

_*Is scarred for life*_


	53. Voldemort

Dear Fanfiction,

What is this Chao's Army I am joining? It's weird, because it's in a bunch of stories. That's nice because I could be joining Kronos, aliens, or Voldemort. And I like noses.

Percy Jackson.


	54. The Movie

Dear Fanfiction,

Thank you for getting that god awful movie released.

The Demigods.

* * *

**Question of the day: Character you want to see a letter from?**


End file.
